Jolly who individual faught Heat/Snow Miser, Winter Warlock finds foe he cannot sway with toys. - J Vanzo
Jolly ol' Saint Nick passed away earlier today after a long struggle with AIDS. Santa had spent the past few centuries sneaking into homes late at night and delivering his goodies from a sack to youngsters across the globe. It sounds creepy, but he did it with the best of intentions.
Insiders say that Santa tried to cure his disease with same elf magic that allowed his reindeer to fly and permitted him to make his round-world trip in one night and not in the recorded 88 days. However, all the magic did was make a giant elf AIDS monster that has been attacking the North Pole since 1993.
Santa passed away in his snow castle compound in the North Pole 3:00AM surrounded by his closest freinds and family, his wife of several centuries, Martha, Yukon Cornelius, Dixon, Rudolph, and Elton John. This is only the latest tragedy to strike the North Pole. Surely, everyone remembers the Sam the Snowman rape allegations of the late 90's, and in 2006, when Herbie the Elf exposing himself to a police officer in the men's room of a Macy's.
It is believed Santa caught the virus that leads to AIDS, HIV, in late 80's when he began doing interveneous drugs and experimenting sexually with Freddie Mercury. It is unclear as to who will replace Santa as the world-wide gift-giver, so far Ed Asner, Wilford Brimley, and Susan Boyle are rumored to be in the running.
